One of the integral parts of dating is breaking up. However unpleasant they might be, break ups are going to happen. Most of us will experience at least one break up in our dating career. I’ve only known one person who never had to deal with the nastiness of a break up. He married his first girlfriend. But the odds of that happening for everyone are rather slim. So, how do we deal with a break up in the healthiest way possible?
The best advice I can give is to not dwell on the feelings and thoughts you’ll have after a break up. If you allow those thoughts to control your actions, things could get pretty ugly. It’s natural for anyone to feel sad and depressed after a break up, the key is to not let those depressed feelings take control of you. Try to find things to fill your time. The more time you spend doing things, the less time you’re going to have to think about the break up. Also, try to be around people that are going to make you happy. Most, if not all, of us have at least one friend that can always make us laugh. Try to spend time with that person. Going along with that thought, try to not be alone. When we’re alone, we don’t talk much (hopefully) which leaves our mind free to think about anything and everything, and believe me, after a break up, your mind is going to want to think about the ended relationship, which we don’t want. Try to be around other people as much as possible.
I’m not saying that you should bottle up the sad feelings you’re going to have completely. That’s not healthy. If you don’t let those feelings out, they’re going to build up and eventually explode out of you. I’m just saying that you should let them out in such a way that you still have control over yourself. I know that most guys will disagree with this, but sometimes you just need to have a good healthy cry. It’s therapeutic. But don’t let it get out of control.
Another thing that can help is to talk to people about your feelings. Talking will help you get your feelings out in the open, which will help us get past them. This is where being around friends and family will come in handy. Family will always try to help you through your problems, and if your friends are true friends, they will too.
So, what do all of you think? What have you done to help get yourself through a break up? Leave a comment and let me know.
One thing that's helped me recently, I got off a website: it basically said make a list of all the things you didn't like about the "ex"; bad traits, habits, times they broke a promise, times they embarrassed you, etc., and whenever you feel lonely and start missing the "ex", refer to the list and remember why you're better off without them.
ReplyDeleteThat's actually a really good plan. I think I might do that myself. Thank you for the idea.
ReplyDeleteI try to keep myself busy so I don't have time to dwell on all my negative feelings.
ReplyDeleteLaura, that's probably the best advice. If your mind is occupied with other things, it's not going to be able to think of bad feelings.
ReplyDeleteI imagine the horrible things that could've happened had we married lol. If he wants to leave me now, he would've felt the same way at some point in our marriage too, I guess.
ReplyDeleteI want my future kids to grow within a family where mom and dad love each other. I want a happy family for them, and a happy family starts with a happy dating relationship. If it isn't that (for both) maybe breaking up now is good!
Think about your kids!