I'm Fine Where I Am, Thank You

Alright, I'm LDS, single, and almost 24, so you can probably guess that the pressure for me to get married is coming in full bore. I'm getting the pushed towards matrimony by my parents, my bishopric, my friends, random strangers. Pretty much everyone. There's that saying in the LDS Church that says: "If you're 25 and unmarried, you're a menace to society". I know it was said by a prophet, but I don't think that makes it doctrine, no matter how much people wish it was.

The thing is; I'm happy being single. I'm enjoying life as a single adult, and I think I want to continue enjoying it for a while longer. Yes, I'd eventually like to get married and start a family, but I don't see why everyone wants me to rush into it. Marriage is a big decision, probably the biggest one I'm ever going to take, and I don't want to botch it up. When I get married, I want to be certain that I've made the right choice. No, I'm not saying that I'm waiting for "The One" to come into my life, you all know I don't believe in "The One". I'm just saying that I want to be sure that the person I'm marrying is going to be right for me.

I was almost engaged a little over a year ago. She broke things off before I actually proposed. I was sad at the time, but looking back on that relationship, it would have been a huge mistake for me to marry her. She was completely wrong for me in every sense of the word. My point is; I was totally enthralled by the idea of getting married that I started to ignore the blatant fact that the girl was not the type of girl I wanted to marry.

Anyway, I didn't want this to be a rant post, it's more just me musing. I've had several friends tell me recently that the pressure for them to get married is driving them insane. A few of them are starting to cave under the pressure. They're no longer dating to have fun, but are on the prowl for their special someone, which is a bad idea, in my mind. Both guys and gals can tell when you're scoping them out for marriage and it can make them feel uncomfortable to be around you, which you don't want. I'm a huge believer that you should be dating to have fun. When you're on a date just to have fun you act differently than when you're trying to hunt down a spouse. If you're just trying to have fun, you're obviously going to be more fun to be around. The date will probably end better and you'll probably have a better chance at getting Date #2. However, when you're only going on dates so that you can get married, the other person might get scared away. You're going to say things that you wouldn't normally say and do things that might come across as odd. All of this is because you're going to be putting that same pressure to get married that you're feeling onto the other person whether you realize it or not.

What do the rest of you think? Do I make a good point or am I totally off base? How many of you are dealing with pressure to get married and how are you dealing with it if you are? Who are you getting pressure from?

That's The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Break ups are one of the hardest things we're going to have to deal with as single people. After, or during, a break up, your emotions are running as high and hard as a river in Spring and a lot of the things you're feeling, you've never felt before and you just don't know how to handle them. If you've never been through a break up with anybody, consider yourself lucky. Nobody wants to have to deal with those feelings. I don't think that anything I write about on here today will make anybody's break up easier, but I'd like to talk about them anyway. And if you can think of anything I miss, feel free to tell me so in the comments.

Breaking up with someone isn't an easy process. most people don't just decide overnight that they're going to end things. Usually, they'll think about it over an extended period of time to make sure that it's the right decision for them and for the other person. They know that what they're thinking of doing is going to hurt the other person, and nobody really wants to intentionally do something to hurt someone else.

You hear a lot of people say that, when they break up with someone, they're going to try to let that someone down easy so there are no hurt feelings. Sadly, it hardly ever works out that way. When you break up with someone, you're basically telling them that you reject them, be it after a month with them or after 2 years with them, and there's no "easy" way to say that to someone. Feelings are going to be hurt and there will probably be tears involved, which is normal. I know a lot of people don't like to cry, but if that's what it takes to make you feel better, there's no reason not to.

So, if there's no easy way to break up with someone, how do the people you break up with feel better about it faster? Well, honestly, I find the best way to deal with a break up is to share. You have friends and family who care about you for a reason. Talk to them about what you're feeling, they'll listen to you. If they're really your friends, they'll help you through all the hard times in your life without expecting anything in return. Vent as much as you can about what you're going through, it's going to help you a lot. The more you talk about it, the easier it's going to be to deal with, which means you'll feel happier faster.

After a break up, you need to make sure that you focus on You for a while. It may sound selfish, but it's true. Fill your time with things that are going to make you happy. Surround yourself with people that are going to make you laugh. When you're happy and laughing, the little things like the break up are going to shrink into insignificance and before you know it, it won't be on your mind at all anymore.

So, there's my thoughts on break ups. I hope they were helpful for all my readers. Did I miss anything? If so, don't be afraid to let me know.