Beauty: Soul

So, we’ve covered beauty in both the body and the mind, so what’s left? Soul. When you say someone has a beautiful soul, what exactly do you mean? For me, it means their emotions, their ability to love, are so great that it makes them much more beautiful than what most people see on the surface. There are many ways that a girl can show me that she has a beautiful soul. Is she kind to other people? Does she openly show love for others in both the things she says and the things she does? If we’re dating, does she genuinely seem to care about me and my feelings? Does she only try to build up not only other people, but herself as well? If the answer is yes to these questions, then she indeed has a beautiful soul in my mind.

A beautiful soul is probably vastly outweighs any other kind of beauty, in my opinion. Yes, intelligence is wonderful, but without the ability to love, it’s useless. A beautiful body is also quite nice, but if, beneath that body, you’re soul is filled with hate and resentment, you’re probably not as beautiful as others might think.

Beauty of the soul is also the hardest to find in people. I’m not saying that it’s hard to find because it’s not there, but it’s hard to find because you can’t really see it in people until you really get to know them. You’ll have to spend quite a bit of time with a person before you can honestly say that you have found their inner beauty. And if they don’t really have any, you’ll probably want to cast your line back out into the dating pool and wait for someone who does. Trust me; you’re going to want someone who is capable of being kind, loving and caring.

Laughter is also another great way to tell if a person has a beautiful soul. There’s a reason they say that laughter is the language of the soul. If a person laughs at another person’s misfortune, they’re probably not that beautiful on the inside. However, when they laugh because something truly is funny to them, it’s a different type of laugh and you can really see the beauty inside them.

So, what are some of the things you notice about other people’s inner beauty that you find attractive? Share your thoughts with us.

Beauty Part 1: Body

Beauty Part 2: Mind

Beauty Part 3: Soul

Beauty: Mind

Okay, in the last post, I talked about why physical attraction is important in a relationship. Today I’m going to talk about some of the other, deeper things about a girl that I find attractive.The first thing that comes to my mind is intelligence. If a girl is not able to carry on an intelligent conversation with me, then it’s highly unlikely that she and I will end up together. I’m an avid reader and have been since I was 3. I love to pick up a book and get lost in the world within it. (In case you can’t tell, I also love to write.) One of the first things I will ask a girl when deciding whether we would work in a relationship is whether or not they like to read. It’s really quite depressing to me how many of them will tell me that they hate to read and only do so when they absolutely have to. Any time I get a response like this from a girl, it’s already clear to me that we would never work together. Intelligence should always be fairly high up on anybody’s list of traits they look for in a partner. If you are only focusing on the physical traits of a person (the surface) you’re heading for a train wreck. I can personally attest to this fact. You need to be interested in more than just a person’s body, and if you can’t think of anything else about a person that attracts you, you should probably just move on to someone else. The human mind is a wonderful thing when it’s used, so find someone who uses theirs. No relationship is ever going to last if the two people cannot connect on an intellectual level as well as a physical level.

In a previous post, I talked about how being with someone who is smarter than you can be intimidating, and it can. But that shouldn’t be something that you let get in the way of a great relationship. It should really just be a sign to you that you need to smarten up. Go back to school, learn more, read more. That’s the beauty of the human mind; it’s always learning. If you really love a person and want to be with them, then you should be willing to make sacrifices to make them happy. And they are going to be happier if they can connect with you intellectually.

What about everyone else? How important is intelligence to you when it comes to relationships?

Beauty Part 1: Body

Beauty Part 2: Mind

Beauty Part 3: Soul

Beauty: Body

Physical attraction; I’ve mentioned this in several of my articles, but I’ve never really gone into detail about it. So, I’m going to today. What is the first thing you notice about someone from the opposite gender? Is it their beautiful face, their great body, their gorgeous smile, their wonderfully flawless skin or their deep sapphire eyes? Those are just examples; it could really be any physical features, which are honestly the first things we notice about someone. I often hear people say that the first thing they noticed about their partner was their sense of humor or the way they seemed to care about everyone. This may be the first thing that attracted them to their partner, but it’s not the first thing they noticed. The way you look is going to be one of the biggest factors in any first impression. That’s why we clean ourselves up when we go to a job interview or a blind date; we want people to see how nice we look so that they will think highly of us. I also hear a lot of people say that physical attractiveness isn’t important to them in the people they date, which is almost always a lie. What they’re really saying is that they have a broader idea of what they find attractive in a partner.

I’m going to be the first to admit that physical attraction (looks) are important to me in the people I date. Yes, I know I’m a jerk for saying this, but it’s true, as it should be in any relationship between two people. Because, and let’s be honest with ourselves, an attractive person is going to be more pleasing to look at, and if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with a person, it’s important that you like looking at them. I’m not trying to say that all girls have to look like supermodels, because not everybody looks for that, but I am saying that, no matter what attracts you, you should be with someone who you are physically attracted to.

I’m going to go off on a bit of a personal tangent here, so bear with me and try to not judge me as a jerk right off the bat. There are plenty of reasons why I like to be attracted to a girl I’m with which I personally don’t think are shallow. If I’m going to be with someone for time and all eternity, someone who I am going to be waking up next to every morning, I’d like that person to be pleasant to look at. Also, when a girl takes the time to make herself look nice (makeup, showering, etc.), it’s usually a good indicator that she things highly of herself and wants others to as well, which I like in a girl. I also like a girl who has a slim, fit figure. I’m not the most active person in the world, but I love to hike and play Ultimate Frisbee, and I’d like for the girls I’m with to be able to join me in those activities, and an overweight girl is not going to be able to do that. If a girl doesn’t care about the shape she’s in, it’s usually a good indicator to me that she doesn’t care about herself in general, which is a turn off to me.

So, does it make me a shallow jerk simply because I want a girl to like herself enough to care about what she looks like? If the answer is yes, then I guess I am a jerk. But, and I’ve probably said this before, I’d rather marry someone who is going to make me happy than not. And physical beauty is a key factor in making me happy.

What about everybody else? What physical traits to you find most attractive in the opposite gender? How important are those traits to you? Let’s have a discussion about it.

(Just so people don’t think I only focus on how a person looks, the next post is going to be about the other, deeper things that attract me to someone.)

Beauty Part 1: Body

Beauty Part 2:Mind

Beauty Part 3: Soul

Two Rants In A Row?

Well, I had so much fun ranting last time that I think I’m going to do it again today. So, get ready for some more of my accusations and such.

First off, I’ve got a question that could be aimed at both gals and guys. Why do we always seem to want to date the single person that is going to forever be un-date-able for us? Either they obviously do not like us, or the two of us would never work out. This kind of goes back to one of my older posts about music. If I like to listen to heavy metal and the girl I want to take out hates it, then, obviously, there are going to be all kinds of problems with us later on. So, why do we do it? Why set our sights on someone that is so far out of our reach that we’ll never catch them? I really don’t understand it. And I’m not trying to imply that I never do this. I do it all the time, but why? Is it just our need to attain the unattainable that drives us to do it? The world may never know.

Another question I have for girls is this: Are so many of you as shallow as you come across? I can’t count the number of times that a girl has told me that they could never date so-and-so because they have too long of hair, or not enough hair, or some other silly little thing like that. Are things like that really so important that you wouldn’t date someone because of it? And if so, how did you get that way? Is it because of the world around us? Is it because the media tells us to be beautiful and love those that are beautiful? I know that this doesn’t apply to all girls, but it does to quite a few of them. And, yes, I am aware that a lot of guys feel the same way about the girls they date. But, what drives us to feel that way? What about those of us who aren’t “beautiful people”? What are we supposed to do?

I’d also like to know why it is that when a guy is in a relationship, girls don’t feel the least bit awkward around them, but when they are single, it’s like we become some kind of creature that girls feel the need to avoid. I’ve noticed that this happens a lot in the LDS church. So, what is it that causes these feelings in women of the church? We guys are the same person whether we’re single or in a relationship, yet you all treat us differently depending on our relationship status. Are these feelings caused by some fear that we, heaven forbid, might ask you out now that we’re not dating someone steadily? If so, what would be the problem with us asking you out? Are you worried that because we ask you on one date that it automatically means we want to marry you? If so, that’s just silly. It is possible to go on a date with someone without having to worry about spending time and all eternity with them. Some of us just like to go on dates to have fun and get to know you.

But, that’s enough of my ranting for today. Oh, and I’m sorry about not posting for almost a week. Again, I don’t have internet at home so the only place I can really post anything is at work, and we’ve been short staffed this past week, so I haven’t had time to type anything up.

As usual, I’d like to get input on these topics, so leave some comments.