Why Can't This Be Love?

Once again, I feel like ranting today. But, it’s not going to be as accusatory as the last few times. Well, at least not accusing to just one person or gender. This is directed at the world as a whole.

I’m just going to ask this question as bluntly as I can. Why is falling in love so freaking hard?! I’m not talking about the feelings of infatuation that you get when you see a cute girl. (Or guy for my female readers.) Falling in like is easy. I’m talking about actual, honest to goodness love. I’m talking about the deep kind of love that you only feel for someone when you truly know them and know that you love them. Why is it so hard to reach that point? I can think of only one relationship that I’ve been in where I’ve actually felt those extreme feelings of love for the person. Sadly, the person didn’t feel the same way about me, which is my point today. How can two people be together and only one of the people really love the other? It just doesn’t make sense to me. Why is it so hard to find someone who you truly love and who truly loves you back? In my experience it’s either one person or the other who feels that way, not both of them.

I’ve said before that I attend a singles ward. At church on Sunday, there are always people there with their “sweetheart”. I look at these couples and I have to wonder if either of the two really feels deep feelings of love for the other. If they do, I wonder what it is about the other person that makes them feel that way. How do we know when we really, truly love another person? Is there a certain, exact moment in time where you know? Or is it just a gradual feeling you get over time? Either way, when you come to the realization that you have these feelings, what do you do? How do you let the other person know that you really love them besides just saying “I love you”? I’m not that saying “I love you” isn’t a good way to express those feelings, but there must be some better way to get across to the other person that you don’t just love them, but that you love them to the point that it hurts to be apart from them. Do you just sit down with the person and tell them your feelings? If so, how do you put in words what you’re feeling? What can we say to this person so that they know, really know, that you love everything about them and that every time you see them, those feelings intensify? (Note: I’m still talking about love here, not obsession. There is a major difference between these two feelings. With love, you want to be with that person and want them to feel the same on their own. Obsession is more of a controlling feeling. You want to make that person love you and are willing to go to any length to force them to.) Also, on that same track, what do you do when you tell the person how you feel and they let you know that they just don’t feel that strongly about you? Do you just break things off then and there? Or do you wait to see if the person will start to feel the same way as you? I think that if the feelings you have for them are as real as you say they are, the answer should be obvious, but maybe I’m wrong.

All in all it just seems totally overcomplicated. I don’t know if I’m just exaggerating the whole thing, or if other people feel the same way about it. So, leave a comment and share your thoughts on falling in love.