Today I’d like to kind of go off on a different tangent. It will still apply to dating, but more to me personally. It’s not going to be a rant, but it is something I have issues with. And it’s probably something that I can’t actually do anything about.
For quite some time now, I’ve wondered why I have such terrible luck with girls. I just can’t seem to make a relationship work out to its fullest extent. This is not to say that I immediately fail at all my relationships, quite the contrary. I’ve had a couple of relationships that lasted for well over a year. But, they always seem to just end, and I have no idea why. And it’s not just long term relationships that I have troubles with. It’s all of them. I can’t seem to succeed when it comes to the wide world of dating. I could be on a first date with a girl, and she’ll be telling me how we would never work out. As she’s telling me this, all I can think of is: “How do you know that? We’ve only just met ten minutes ago! How can you be so sure that we’ll not work?” And it hasn’t happened just once. It’s happened many, many times. For the longest time I figured that there must be something about my appearance or demeanor that girls can see that tells them that the two of us wouldn’t work out. Maybe I have a big label on my forehead that says “Scalawag” or “No-good-nik” that is stamped in ink that only a female eye can see. (I can’t believe I just used the words scalawag and no-good-nik.) It really does baffle me that so many gals can all agree that I’m not dateable. But, it all makes sense now, thanks to my friend linking this with a story of mine from a past job.
Several years ago I worked at Target. I was hired right around the beginning of October to work in the electronics department, which meant that I was also expected to work in the seasonal area. During my first week of work, while I was still being trained, an older Romanian couple approached me (yes, I know they were Romanian because of the accent they had) and asked me if we had any more of a certain item in stock. The item was one of those fiber optic figurines that have little pinpoints of light that change color. This one was of a pumpkin with a scarecrow hat. I checked the inventory in the stockroom, but couldn’t find any more of the pumpkin. The wife asked if we had any at our other stores. I checked and, no, we didn’t have any of them anywhere. When I told her this, the old woman became angry. She raised her hand, pointed a crooked finger at me, and began speaking harshly in Romanian. When she finished, she brought her hand down quickly and spat to her side. Then she and her husband left.
That’s right; this little old lady put a curse on me over a light up figurine. Ever since then, I’ve been worried that I’m going to mysteriously drop dead for no reason. It wasn’t until a couple of days ago that I was enlightened by my friend. There were several of us sitting around sharing stories about work and such. I told the story I’ve just told you. One of my friends pointed out that the old woman’s curse must be what’s causing my terrible luck with women. And it makes sense. I can just imagine it. A girl and I have been dating for a while and are getting serious. Then, the girl has a dream one night in which the old woman warns them that if they continue to date me, they will be cursed forever! So, the girl breaks up with me.
It may not be true, but it does help explain my horrendous luck. What do you all think?
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