We all have an idea in our mind about what the perfect person would be for us. And if you say you don’t, you’re probably lying. Everybody hopes that they’ll find someone that surpasses all of our hopes and dreams of who we want to date and marry. Some people have an idea in their mind of their perfect person that is so detailed that they could go on for hours talking about each and every aspect of that person. Some of us are a little less picky, but we still would like to find that perfect somebody. I know that I have an idea in my mind of what my perfect girl would look and act like, but I’m not going to go into any details about her.The problem is, are some of us so focused on finding that perfect person that we neglect to see the people around us who would still make us happier than we’ve ever been, even if they aren’t what we envisioned? I tend to notice girls doing this more than guys. And there are reasons for that. Girls have been spoiled by fictional characters such as Edward Cullen. Ask any girl who they’d marry if they could marry anybody and almost 95% of them will respond with: Edward followed by a heavy sigh and a dreamy look on their face. So many girls are hoping to find their personal Edward that they will skip over great guys in their quest to find him. And it’s not just fictional characters, and it’s not just girls that do this. Guys become so enthralled by actresses like Megan Fox that they can’t possibly imagine a girl as wonderful as her, and because of that, they will not see the amazing girls that are standing right in front of them.
I guess what I’m getting at is this: Do too many of us have our sights set to high when it comes to who we will date? Are we so infatuated with the thought of a perfect person who likely doesn’t exist that we will ignore other people in the hopes that, one day, that thought will become reality? I truly hope not. As much as I’d like to meet and marry the person I have perfected in my mind, I know that it’s highly unlikely that I ever will.
What does everyone else think? Do you have an idea of the perfect person for you? What are some of their qualities? Share them with us. Let’s try to get a discussion going.
First off, great post.
ReplyDeleteAs for dating, I try to give everyone an equal chance; if I don't feel that it's right, I generally feel it pretty early on.
The perfect guy for me? He has to be someone with whom I can easily talk about anything, someone with similar interests, and most importantly, someone who respects me.
Mom wants to add, Even if you meet the perfect person, would they be interested in you? Would you be their perfect person?
Honestly I really thought that I knew what I wanted in a perfect person in my mind. I had my standards so high up there for the guy I wanted to date. Then when I had the relationship, I then realized that I didn't want that relationship anymore. Soon I lowered my standards so low and realized I wasn't happy at all.
ReplyDeleteI Soon come to find out that I really didn't know what I wanted in a relationship, as I was going from guy to guy to guy. Trying to figure out what was wrong with me, was there something wrong with me? No! There wasn't I just wasn't finding my soul mate. I was looking for a figure that was locked in my head.
I soon had what I thought was the perfect man. Then he broke my heart, all due to he couldn't handle it when I got sick. Finding out that he wasn't the one for me at all.
Later I found myself thinking that no one really would want someone like me. (which that didn't last long. That I was someone special, and to not give up hope). Sooner then later I came across just loving who I am. Knowing that God would place the right guy infront of me. If I just keep being that person that I love, also trying to be that person that I would want to someday love me for me. I still have no idea what I am doing ro what I am looking for.
I know that I would be truly happy if I found someone like me. Someone that I can relate too. Someone that I could talk to for long periods of time. To tell you the truth I really don't think anyone really knows what they really want. All that matters if they are a lot like yourself. Having the same standards the same qualities as you. Someone were you can look at them and say "You complete me". I know that would truly make me happy.
Well I won't doubt at all that I definitely do have an idea of what the perfect girl is in mind, like I'm sure we all indeed do. It's just that I've always been so firm in the belief that your mind really is the only place the perfect guy/girl exists that I've never really thought about it much. So I don't think I really could say what those qualities are for sure.
ReplyDeleteWhat I definitely can say for sure though is what I typically tend to notice about when I really feel like I've found someone special. Because quite frankly, that's really all I've ever tried to pay attention to when it comes to this sort of thing. I think there are a few things that play a part in that for me though. Typically it kind of just starts out as me getting to know someone and being able to hang around and get along with them as a good friend at first. Then the more I get to know them and am able to get along with them the more I come to appreciate them for who they are, so much so that all the things that typically tend to bother you about people and all their own personal flaws and imperfections, all their differences in opinions and personal interests/tastes, they just really don't matter to you with that person.
I mean, I don't think there's any two people out there that are never going to butt heads or argue and disagree with each other. Or are even going to be perfectly compatible with each other for that matter. There's always going to be something that bugs you about pretty much anybody you'll meet. That's just not how things work in the real world quite frankly. To expect anything more would definitely be looking too much to find the perfect guy/girl for sure, and quite frankly, they just don't exist. I've always been a firm believer that really, the only way to make a relationship with someone work is with compromise. And I really think that when you really have found that special someone, it's when you can love them enough to make those compromises, to be able to forgive them of their flaws and imperfections, because that wonderful person they are past all of that is all that matters to you.
Sometimes you really do wish there were more people out there that had the capability to look for these things in people more then there are, I totally agree with that. I really think that the more people are able to get past this illusion of the kind of guy/girl they feel they need to be looking for rather than just simply trying to let those feelings with someone play out on their own, the more happy and successful they'll be in their endeavors.
@Sarcasm397: Your mom makes a very good point I think. I think the thing about what I've been talking about with this post is that it's probably much, much more likely to find the person you're the perfect person for as well rather than just simply the other way around. Because then it allows you to come to those terms together and not have these things be so one sided. By the very definition of the word relationships are indeed a two way thing, after all. ;)
Well, I thought I had an idea of what I wanted someone I date to be like, but now I'm all sorts of mixed up cuz I'm now dating someone who I totally didn't expect to fall for. Go figure! But I am really glad I didn't let my "perfect guy" image cloud me too much. Otherwise, I would be missing out on an amazing, very real, guy.
ReplyDeleteWell to go along with what I posted about above, I just recently found something really interesting someone said in a discussion over on the forums I post in that I think fits this discussion quite well and I'd like to share with you guys. I think they made a very, very good point with this.
ReplyDelete"No one is perfect, but someone can be right for you. There will be differences and flaws, but with the right person you don't just "learn to deal with them". You accept them, and even oddly enough appreciate them about that person. For instance, if I am in love with someone who has a tendency to be a bit hot-tempered and verbally express his irritations to me, I don't get upset. If I am in love with him, I appreciate the fact that he is open with me to share his feelings and that when he is done, I hope he will feel much better. I feel lucky to be there for him. Also, I don't see him as just hot-tempered... it shows that he is a passionate person with heart, and I love that about him. So what one person may see as a flaw, I turn that flaw around, and see the positive side reflected in the person I am in love with."
Alright, there has been some good discussion in these comments. So much so that I'm not going to address them here in the comments section. Look for responses and more of my thoughts on this in a later post.
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