What is it about love that is so intoxicating to the human race? What is it that will cause us to go to any length to find and be with the person we love? Why do we continue to throw ourselves back in front of the oncoming train that is the dating scene in the hopes that we will find someone who has the same feelings of passion that we have for them?
The path to true, irrefutable love is a steep, rocky climb that cannot be circumvented or bypassed no matter how much we would like to. Despite how easy it looks, you cannot reach the pinnacle of the mountain that is love without supreme determination and a few cuts and bruises.
There is no greater high in the world than the feeling you get when the person you would die for tells you that they feel the same way about you. The word “love” is thrown around very carelessly these days, but the actual feeling of love is much, much harder to give someone. When two people are in love, it is like they are constantly putting themselves out on a precarious ledge knowing that, should they fall, the other person will always be there to catch them, comfort and hold them, and place their feet back on solid, secure ground.
Love will not tolerate doubt; the two concepts are polar opposites of each other and cannot be together. One will always destroy the other.
Sorry, I’m feeling rather poetic today for some reason. Let’s see, how can I wrap this up? How about this: To all my readers, share your thoughts on love with me, be they positive or negative. It doesn’t even have to be feelings about relationships, just love in general.
That word really is thrown around too carelessly these days, isn't it? I think that's really why it's so hard to define what it means, because people use it so much for whatever definition, even if it's the wrong one. So it's no wonder why one can so easily muddle up the definition.
ReplyDeleteBut if you really think about it, even though there's different kinds of people in your life you can use it with, I do think there's only one kind of love, and only one universal definition of love. And that is simply when you care deeply for someone and when people care deeply about you, whether they be family, friends, or significant others. You may show your love for those different kinds of people in your life in different ways, there are indeed tons of ways out there for one to show their love for someone after all. But the fact of the matter is that by that one universal definition, by that one kind of love, you love them nonetheless.
With that said, I think that definition applying to the area of romance is where you find the people you love as apposed to the people you just have silly little crushes on. You know you've found the person you love when your able to look past all the imperfections and flaws of that person (we all have them, after all) and are able to see them for the wonderful person they are deep down inside. And as a result, you've grown to care for that person deeply as you've gotten to know them in that sense. Which indeed can be a one sided thing sometimes, yeah, but that's just how difficult the world of romance is. Sometimes you come to find yourself caring that deeply about someone and unfortunately they can't find themselves able to do the same for you for whatever reason, and you just have to accept that fact and deal with it. Sometimes people are lucky enough to meet the person that does find themselves able to feel the same way in return earlier in their lives, and sometimes you have to have enough patience to find that person latter in life. Everyone's just different that way I guess.
The word is tossed around too often nowadays. The only person I've ever felt a true, deep, romantic love for told me, time and again, that he loved me, enough that I believed him. Whether he truly loved me, I'll never know; I do know that this will always be an obstacle in my dating and my search for an eternal companion, because frankly, I loved him, he was the world to me. Which is why I cried for three weeks after he suddenly decided he didn't love me any more, assuming he ever loved me in the first place. It's my doubt of this that means I can never forgive him, but it's my heart that means I can never forget him either.
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@BroEl: Very good insight. You make some excellent observations. There really are many different levels of love, but only one real emotion. You can feel love for one person, yet feel it completely differently for someone else. It's really complicated when you think about it.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that people need to learn the difference between love and crushes/lust. It's almost impossible to actually love someone right when you meet them. You have to get to know them, imperfections and all, before you can actually say that you love them.
@Sarcasm397: Totally not off topic. In fact, I really like what you had to say. Yours is a prime example of someone bandying about the word love without any real feelings to back it up. I'm terribly sorry for your situation. It's a really hard thing to put yourself back out on the line once you've had your love denied by somebody. I've had a similar situation, which I think I've talked about before. Going from a situation where someone has expressed love for you to a situation where that person has withdrawn those feelings is one of the hardest things to deal with. And that line: "It's my doubt of this that means I can never forgive him, but it's my heart that means I can never forget him either." was so eloquently put that I got a little choked up reading it. It's incredibly sad when these situations come along and I hope that one day you'll be able to put the hurt feelings behind you and love someone again.
@Bryson: Yeah, love really is a complicated feeling, isn't it? I guess it's because it's such a deep, powerful feeling that makes it that way.
ReplyDeleteThinking about what we've both said about love romantically though, it does kind of make you wonder about the whole idea of "love at first sight" and whether or not it really exists. I suppose you can have some sort of feeling about someone the first time you meet them where it's like "man, there's just something about them" which I think is really more of what the spirit tells you in situations like that. But when it comes down to actual love for a person, you pretty much do have to get to know them more. Because you never truly know unless you try. Faith without works is dead, pretty much.
@Sarcasm397: That truly is a very tragic and painful thing to have gone though, and I'm truly sorry that you had to go through that. Like Bryson said that's a perfect example of the misuse of the word "love." Not only in the sense that it can muddle things up and confuse people, but that it can hurt them as well.
Much like Bryson though, I've been where you've been. I myself have had my love for someone denied me on multiple occasions, even though I've never been in an actual dating relationship before. That example I mentioned in Bryson's last blog post before this one is just one such occasion. I remember in those situations I honestly believed that there was no one else out there I could possibly love like I did them, and because I dwelled on it so much I ended up feeling like I shut myself off to too many other people who I could have potentially loved that same way who might have been willing to show that same affection for me.
But you know something? Each and every time I had that attitude I eventually did end up opening myself up to more people and the more I got to know them, I had found someone else who I did feel like I loved that much again, even if I did eventually end up getting hurt again. And because of that I can't help but be optimistic that I'll still be able to do so until eventually someday I will find the person who feels the same way about me.
So if anything, I think based on my own experiences, my advice to you would be to try not to be so scared of opening yourself up to other people that way. I know it's hard, believe me, I know. But if you do that, you never know who you'll be able to find that you can love that same way. Not to mention that also if you do, you never know who'll be able to show those same affections for you. Just remember that you are still young, and there are all sorts of opportunities like that that exist out there for you, and that it is indeed very possible for someone to feel that way towards you. Because you are indeed a very wonderful person, and you deserve nothing less than to have someone see that in you and be able to feel that way about you, no matter what.
@BroEl: I've never really had a specific stand on the whole "love at first sight" idea. I'm sure that it happens for people sometimes, but it probably doesn't happen as much as movies and TV would like us to think it does. I still say that you can't love someone until you know them, but I have seen one or two instances where people fell in love right when they met and actually ended up getting married. I guess it just depends on the people.
ReplyDelete@Sarcasm397: Seriously, you're a wonderful person who is going to make someone WAY happy one of these days. You just need to find the right person for you. And when you think you've found that person, don't be afraid to open up to them and let them know how you feel. Guys aren't intuitive enough to figure things like that out on our own, we need to be told. Girls, on the other hand, are usually able to tell if a guy likes them, or at least, that's what my experience has told me. There's always exceptions to the rule on both sides though.
@Bryson: Yeah, it's like what I said before, it's different for all of us. Sometimes it happens sooner, sometimes it happens latter. So I suppose it can happen anyways, it's just that more realistically you typically should get to know them first. That's where I've always stood myself.
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