More Thoughts...

Ever since I made the goal I mentioned in my last post, I've had the topic of love on my mind a lot. Not just concerning myself, but lots of other people in my life. Over the past few months I've seen people fall in and out of love with each other a lot and it's gotten me wondering how many of them actually loved the other (which I've pondered about on this blog a lot already). But it really is something that's on my mind a lot, so I'm going to ramble about it again today.

I look at some of my friends who are married now and I wonder how long it took each of them to know that the other person was the one for them. Did they know before they got married? Did they know right when they met? Did it take a few months of married life for them to know? Also, I wonder what it was that sparked that feeling in each of them. As far as my reltionships have gone, I can know that I like a girl right from the start, but it usually takes some time before I realize that I love them, and I've never really been sure what she does that causes the change in feelings. I don't really think that it could be just one thing, but rather a culmination of many things over a period of time. Who knows? For those of you who read this and have met "the one for you", how did you know that they were?

If you've been reading this blog for long enough, you'll remember that post where I shared my various thoughts on love. I've shown that post to several people since I wrote it and every one of them has said basically the same thing: "Oh, that is so true!" which, in my mind, it is. Love is not an easy thing to obtain. Love has to be sought for. It's not going to just fall into your lap. I see too many people nowadays that just want the perfect man/woman to seek them out and find them without any effort of their own, but it just doesn't work that way, I'm afraid. If you want your perfect match in life, you're going to have to actually try to find them, and when you do, it's not going to be an easy, leisurely stroll after that. No, you're going to have to work at the relationship if you want it to succeed. Too many relationships fail because either one, or both, of the people involved think they can just sit back and let Fate work her magic. It's not until the relationship is over that they realize they should have actually done something to help Fate along.

I'm really sounding bitter, aren't I? I'm not trying to, honestly. These are just some of the thoughts that have been floating around my mind lately. Anyway, what do the rest of you think? Can you prove me wrong? Can love actually just fall straight into your lap? Let me know.

I Want To Be Loved...

Love is probably one of the most mystifying forces in the Universe. It can be given freely, but not taken forcefully. When you do give it away, you are not always guaranteed anything in return. When it is given away and returned, it continues to grow and grow in strength. It can be given to anybody you feel is deserving of it, but it cannot be easily taken back. It will cause people to do things they never thought possible and say things that they never knew they had the words to express. It is completely intangible, but is felt all the time by those who have received it.

What is it about love that is so intoxicating to the human race? What is it that will cause us to go to any length to find and be with the person we love? Why do we continue to throw ourselves back in front of the oncoming train that is the dating scene in the hopes that we will find someone who has the same feelings of passion that we have for them?

The path to true, irrefutable love is a steep, rocky climb that cannot be circumvented or bypassed no matter how much we would like to. Despite how easy it looks, you cannot reach the pinnacle of the mountain that is love without supreme determination and a few cuts and bruises.

There is no greater high in the world than the feeling you get when the person you would die for tells you that they feel the same way about you. The word “love” is thrown around very carelessly these days, but the actual feeling of love is much, much harder to give someone. When two people are in love, it is like they are constantly putting themselves out on a precarious ledge knowing that, should they fall, the other person will always be there to catch them, comfort and hold them, and place their feet back on solid, secure ground.

Love will not tolerate doubt; the two concepts are polar opposites of each other and cannot be together. One will always destroy the other.

Sorry, I’m feeling rather poetic today for some reason. Let’s see, how can I wrap this up? How about this: To all my readers, share your thoughts on love with me, be they positive or negative. It doesn’t even have to be feelings about relationships, just love in general.

Why Can't This Be Love?

Once again, I feel like ranting today. But, it’s not going to be as accusatory as the last few times. Well, at least not accusing to just one person or gender. This is directed at the world as a whole.

I’m just going to ask this question as bluntly as I can. Why is falling in love so freaking hard?! I’m not talking about the feelings of infatuation that you get when you see a cute girl. (Or guy for my female readers.) Falling in like is easy. I’m talking about actual, honest to goodness love. I’m talking about the deep kind of love that you only feel for someone when you truly know them and know that you love them. Why is it so hard to reach that point? I can think of only one relationship that I’ve been in where I’ve actually felt those extreme feelings of love for the person. Sadly, the person didn’t feel the same way about me, which is my point today. How can two people be together and only one of the people really love the other? It just doesn’t make sense to me. Why is it so hard to find someone who you truly love and who truly loves you back? In my experience it’s either one person or the other who feels that way, not both of them.

I’ve said before that I attend a singles ward. At church on Sunday, there are always people there with their “sweetheart”. I look at these couples and I have to wonder if either of the two really feels deep feelings of love for the other. If they do, I wonder what it is about the other person that makes them feel that way. How do we know when we really, truly love another person? Is there a certain, exact moment in time where you know? Or is it just a gradual feeling you get over time? Either way, when you come to the realization that you have these feelings, what do you do? How do you let the other person know that you really love them besides just saying “I love you”? I’m not that saying “I love you” isn’t a good way to express those feelings, but there must be some better way to get across to the other person that you don’t just love them, but that you love them to the point that it hurts to be apart from them. Do you just sit down with the person and tell them your feelings? If so, how do you put in words what you’re feeling? What can we say to this person so that they know, really know, that you love everything about them and that every time you see them, those feelings intensify? (Note: I’m still talking about love here, not obsession. There is a major difference between these two feelings. With love, you want to be with that person and want them to feel the same on their own. Obsession is more of a controlling feeling. You want to make that person love you and are willing to go to any length to force them to.) Also, on that same track, what do you do when you tell the person how you feel and they let you know that they just don’t feel that strongly about you? Do you just break things off then and there? Or do you wait to see if the person will start to feel the same way as you? I think that if the feelings you have for them are as real as you say they are, the answer should be obvious, but maybe I’m wrong.

All in all it just seems totally overcomplicated. I don’t know if I’m just exaggerating the whole thing, or if other people feel the same way about it. So, leave a comment and share your thoughts on falling in love.