Yesterday, at my singles ward, in sacrament meeting, the speakers were talking about setting goals. There were four speakers and each one of them talked about different parts of the goal setting process. The first speaker spoke specifically about goals in dating. I’m sure they were talking about New Year’s resolutions, so I began to think of what I’d like to accomplish in the coming year as far as dating goes and I came up with something that I’d like to think is a pretty epic goal.During the coming year, I’ve decided that I can’t fall in love with anyone. Not even once. If I fall in love with anyone, I lose. And I’m not talking about just having a crush on someone. No, I’m talking about myself and someone else falling in love with each other. Real love, not just like. Although, I’m probably going to try to avoid falling in like with anyone as well, simply because like will usually lead to love if you let it.
You’re probably wondering how I came up with this goal and why I decided to go with it. Well, it’s really pretty simple. In the past several years, falling in love with people has brought me nothing but sorrow, simply because the love I had for them was not reciprocated. Don’t get me wrong; love is one of the greatest feelings in the world, when it is returned to you. When it’s not, however, it can be a very soul-crushing feeling. I’ve been on the soul-crushing end more than not these past few years, so you can imagine how the thought of not falling in love with anyone would appeal to me. So, I decided to make that my goal for the year.
But, and I’m sure you’ve thought this already, how is that an epic goal? To most people, it isn’t, but if you think about it, it really is. Let me explain: If I succeed at my goal and don’t fall in love for a whole year, I’ll be happy for the simple fact that I followed through and accomplished a goal I set for myself. If, however, I fail at my goal and fall in love with someone (someone who loves me back) I’ll be happy for the simple fact that I love someone who loves me. It’s really a win-win situation. There is some bittersweetness to the goal. If I do fall in love and become happy for that reason, there’s always the chance that things will go sour between myself and the girl, which would lead to some major unhappiness, but I’m going to try to not think too much about that.
So, what about the rest of you? Do any of you have goals set for the new year that have to do with dating? If so, what are they? Share them with us!
By the way, I don't want anyone to think that I'm going to stop dating, because I'm not.
Some of those sentiments sound all too familiar...
ReplyDeleteIt's not really a goal, but I'd like for the next time I fall in love to be my last, ie, the person I eventually marry. Which may be difficult, since I'm rather deeply in like at the moment and I'm fairly sure that will lead to heartbreak eventually.
Well, considering the fact that every time I've ever loved someone they've never returned those feelings for me, that goal actually sounds very appealing to me actually. I'm thinking the only exception to that rule though would have to be if, like you say, I know for a fact that they love me back first, then maybe I can try to give a shot to loving them back. Problem is I actually tried having that state of mind once, and it didn't quite work out as well as I'dve hopped.... Yeah, knowing me this isn't going to be very easy.... Maybe it'll be different this time though, who knows.
ReplyDeleteI think another good one to set for myself pertaining to dating would be trying to better myself at dating in the first place. I've always been very, very incompetent when it comes to dating, even today when I'm actually much improved at it from how I used to be. So I suppose working on being more competent about it, which probably means going on far, far more dates than I typically tend to in the first place, is probably what I'd say if anything would be my top goal.
Hmm...a goal for dating...well, I guess mine would be to let myself be happy with the situation I'm in. I'm currently dating this wonderful guy. This is the longest I've ever dated someone, and knowing me, I'm going to start wondering if it's too good to last, and I'll end up totally preoccupied with that thought. So I'm just going to be happy with where I am, and enjoy this as it goes along....also another goal is to not get engaged yet hahaha. Totally not ready for that. Besides I have other goals I want to accomplish first.
ReplyDeleteYes, Teagan, I'm sure those sentiments sound extremely familiar to you. And I will keep my fingers crossed for you that the next person you fall in love with is the last person. It would make me super happy to hear that you found your special someone.
ReplyDeleteBroEl, I think we could all use a bit more practice in the dating field. I'm sure a lot of people think they don't, but I would bet that they're not as good at dating as they are pretending to be. Also, just because you are going on dates with people, doesn't mean that you have to be falling in love. I still plan to go on dates with people, but I'm going to work super hard to keep my heart closed off.
Laura, I'm so happy for you right now. The other day when I was talking to you, you looked so happy and I know that a good part of that is because you are with such a good guy right now. My day is always made better when I get to find out that one of my good friends is happy. And as wonderful as getting married is, it's not something you want to rush into.
All in all, your goals all sound like good ones to me, I might even adopt a few of them as my own.
Yeah, that's a concept that I'm actually starting to get a much better grasp of in recent times as I've continued to discover what the true meaning and feeling of love is. I think one of my all time greatest problems is that because I've had such bad experiences with dating, and because I've been on so few in the first place, that the dating phase has been one I've wanted to just skip past. And as a result I end up getting the wrong idea about it sometimes. So I suppose that's another thing I could work on as well is trying to further get myself out of that mindset.
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